AnonymousMy story is quite bland, so I'm not going to tell all of it. Just a part...
I'm a Christian, I have been since I was very small, I stopped going to church, when I was 8, after my grandpa died, but recently, I've been going to youth group, I even went on the huge, expensive trip to Colorado. And I guess that's when I realized that I felt like I didn't belong there, with all these super christian girls and boys who were always nice and accepting and such, but when our speaker spoke about gays, he talked about them like they weren't human, no one protested. I wanted to, I really wanted to, but I felt like if I did, I would be disappointing all these friends I had made, later, I talked to a closer friend about it, about how the talk had made me fell uncomfortable, and she sort of agreed, she went on to tell me her opinion, which I didn't agree with, but pretended to. I felt horrible, I couldn't stand up for what I believed in.
The next day, the talk mentioned that good little Christians don't believe in science. In evolution or the Big Band Theory. This part was hard too. I kept waiting for the speaker to jump up and yell 'KIDDING!' because, I believe in all that stuff, I believe in science, and in God.
The week progressed with me feeling more and more left out. I just felt like my opinions differed too much from this group. Because of this, I'm starting to lean away from church again, back to my old 'belief in a higher being' (Who I thought to be God) but I don't want to. I want to be like all these perfect kids because I'm afraid to not be like them. Because I'm always afraid of something.
You don’t have to hide and try and be like something you’re not. They’re not perfect. No one is. Trying to be like them doesn’t and never will make you perfect. But do you know what will? Being yourself. It makes you, you. Believe in what you want to believe in. If a church group doesn’t agree with you, then perhaps that’s not the church you should be attending. I personally have the same beliefs as you. I believe in the existence of some kind of higher being. But I also believe in evolution and gay rights and science. And that’s nothing to be ashamed of or hide. Why pretend to be something you’re not in order to be accepted by some church members who you disagree with when you can be yourself and be accepted by people who wholeheartedly agree with you? Thank you very much for sharing! I hope you find some peace. I hope you be you, and not what you think others want you to be, or what you think you should be.
My story, well, I was born 19 years ago on November 26 in a hospital in Georgia. I was raised by two parents and we welcomed by sister in the world when I was 5. I was home schooled until my freshman year of High School (More on that in a minute). Unlike most people, Middle School was actual one of my favorite times in life thus far. I spent it with my 6 bestest friends in the world, Erin, Jill, Kelly, Lydia and Margaret who along with me made a Sisterhood for the 6 of us called the Sisterhood of the Traveling Cross (We’re all strong Christians and after watching The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants together one night, we decided to make our own sisterhood that would not only help us bond together but together would keep each other strong in our faith.) My 6th best friend in Georgia is Zach. All of middle school we hung out together at our home school group called, “Masters academy”, at church, at youth group, and every summer the 7 of us would go to church camp together where most of my best memories were made. My freshman year of high school (well, just before actually) my family got the shocking news that my elderly grandma in Kansas had been in a terrible car accident. (She’s fine now though has a lot of memory loss!) After much prayer and thought, we decided the best thing to do was to move to Kansas so we could help my grandparents out. In addition to helping them, my sister Noelle and I would have a lot more freedom. My mom had come down with a debilitating nerve disease shortly after my sister was born and then, just before my 12th birthday, she was also diagnosed with a lung disease, both of which left her bedridden and unable to drive or do everyday things. The town we were moving to in Kansas was only 9 blocks by 6 blocks, very safe and we could even walk every where we needed to go. It’s lovely, it’s a bit like Mayberry from the Andy Griffith Show, everyone knows everyone. After moving to Kansas in October of 2006, I started going to the local high school, it was somewhat scary at first because not only was I in a brand new state where I only knew my grandparents but also I had never even been in High School building. Almost immediately I made some good friends but it wasn’t until my sophomore year that I met my very best friend here, she came up to me and introduced herself in this way, “Hi, my name’s Jill, do you want to be best friends?” I said yes, and the rest is history. I love her so much and she always can make me laugh, she’s one of the funniest people I’ve ever met. The rest of High School I enjoyed being in Show Choir, Forensics (Where I did improvised Duet Acting with Jill) and performing in the school plays. Also, I’ve made lots of other friends that I love deeply! Last May, I graduated with slightly teary eyes because Jill and most of my other good friends were in the grade below me. In the fall I started attending Kansas State University where I roomed with a friend from high school. College was a refreshing place for me because I finally had some freedom, my parents are the strictest I’ve ever met (Ex. They wouldn’t let me watch Pocahontas til last year and I’m still not even allowed to bring anything Harry Potter in the house, I had to read the books on my front porch last summer.) That’s pretty much my life until now besides saying that last summer after finally reading and watching HP I become addicted to it and this past March I watched all of Doctor Who and LOVE it. Also, at college I have two more best friends Shelby and Alex who are fantastic and at college I constantly hang out with both of them.
By the way, Harry Potter was quite worth it. Worth the week and a half of reading on my porch sometimes til 1 in the morning, covered in mosquito bites because of it. They’re brilliant. And to be honest they give me courage to, my parents aren’t just strict really, they’re worse than just that. Recently they’ve taken to telling me I’m selfish, that I’ll never find love, that I’m not pretty anymore and I’m a disappointment. That’s why I like fantasy books a lot, and Doctor Who, I can pretend that there’s some place I can escape it all. Music and photography are also huge parts of my life. Photography is one thing I feel I’m actually good at and that and music also help me escape.
Those sound like amazing friends. Catchy name too, “Sisterhood of the Traveling Cross”. I’m so sorry to hear about your Grandma. But where you moved seems like a lovely place. As does Jill. What a character she seems to be. Your parents, boy, do they seem strict. Sorry about that. At least you snuck in the Harry Potter books, good decision on your part, they’re worth it, aren’t they? The Harry Potter books have such great morals, I’m glad that you could see that and then helped develop your courage. You are a lovely girl who will do lovely things, you are not a selfish, disappointing, or any of those things you parents claimed. That’s just nonsense, obviously, because your story says otherwise. Thank you for sharing your story!
